@Jake_Vig: If taking off your pants doesn't solve your problems, get different problems.
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@ArfMeasures: OWNER: The museum's ready? ME: All the artichokes are in place OWNER: Ha, you mean artifacts [I slam the door shut] ME: U cannot go in there
@: Interviewer: why do u feel like you're a good fit for our company? Me: the sign out front says you all are hiring & I'm looking to be hired
@mylifesuckers: Husband: Let's talk about it when we're not tired and cranky. Me: So, in like 18 years?