@Dawn_M_: If that cute guy doesn't approach you at a bbq, he is probably just intimidated by how many sausages you're eating.
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@Sean_Burgundy_: [1st date] Waiter: Can I get you a drink ma'am ? Me: Wow really bro right in front of me?
@matsmoustache: You walk into my bedroom... I'm laying naked with a platter of nachos on my chest. You get punched while trying to take some of my nachos.
@Papa_Mex: 8:00am on a Saturday morning and my neighbor was mowing his lawn. Now he looks really funny covered in paint balls
@ch000ch: i listed my ex as my emergency contact at my new job bc if i have a heart attack i need to tell kathy to burn in hell one last time