@Dawn_M_: If that cute guy doesn't approach you at a bbq, he is probably just intimidated by how many sausages you're eating.
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@decentbirthday: Friend: check out my conscience shell Me: you mean conch? *holds up to ear* Shell: you saw those kids get in that van and you did nothing
@SteveSuckington: I rented this bobcat to help me dig up my new pool but he won't even hold the shovel. He's just eating all the neighborhood squirrels.
@donni: Blue cheese dressing makes anything a salad. For example, this french fry salad I'm eating right now