@wickedsuga: If the bride tosses you the bouquet, how long are you allowed to beat her with it?
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@JasonLastname: If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you'll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
@omically: Honey, I'm afraid we can't get married anymore. weed_hitler69 just told me I was gay. *looks at Xbox* Thank you sir. You've changed my life.
@AaronFullerton: Considering our obsessions with cats and emojis, the internet really is the new ancient Egypt.