@wickedsuga: If the bride tosses you the bouquet, how long are you allowed to beat her with it?
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@BetteMidler: Congratulations to Janet Jackson for having a baby at age 50! When I was 50, I wasn’t even strong enough to push a child out of my way.
@Parentpains: Whenever I'm on twitter I always turn my phone upside down to try and collect spare change from your pockets.
@RunwayDan: The word "defenestration" means "to throw someone out a window." Which means this happens so often we needed a word for it.
@handsock_butts: HADES: what happens when Aphrodites hair gets frizzy? ZEUS: don't- HADES: i guess u could call her AFROdite ZEUS: this is why we banished u