@ElizaBayne: If the British had won, today we'd all be celebrating the Fouurth of July
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@onion_an: Me: I was so happy before I lost my forearms in that shark attack Therapist: How do you feel now? Me: With my elbows
@Playing_Dad: *Clark Kent leaves his glasses on the coffeemaker at work* Lois: Anyone see the coffeemaker? You, with the glasses...seen the coffeemaker?
@thepunningman: I see Google have dropped that internet specs thing then? "Google Glass" I know what glass is, Catherine.