@ElizaBayne: If the British had won, today we'd all be celebrating the Fouurth of July
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ArfMeasures: [being chased round my house by a murderer] ME: PLEASE STOP THIS IS SENSELESS MURDERER: What? ME: [puts Fitbit on] Ok carry on
@TaleSagaLore: Coolest jobs: 1)Beer maker 2)Secretary of War 3)Ninja 4)Guy who pushes scared skydivers
@NikiWithIssues: I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.
@ColorMeScradd: MAN!! My boss is always all "Blah blah blah!", "You're late!", and "Get me more pictures of Spiderman!!"