@DamienFahey: If the car behind me honks while waiting for my parking space at the mall, I turn off my car and visibly start a rubik's cube.
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@Rlpihl: u guys like coachella? u know who else was in a desert with people who didn't shower? Moses. hi i'm your new youth pastor Keith
@Skullcat: I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I'll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
@bourgeoisalien: A skinny friend told me she's never hungry and just 'forgets to eat', so I drove her out to the woods and left her for dead. Is that wrong?
@AmishPornStar1: Of course morning sex is better. You haven't spent the day annoying the crap out of each other yet.