@AKenyanDude: If the cup is only half full, I suggest you buy a smaller bra
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@Travon: I'm opening a restaurant called "It doesn't matter, whatever you want" since every girl alive wants guys to take them there.
@roostermustache: [on a date with a teacher] Me: your eyes are beautiful Her: yours too Me:*leans in, whispers* can i kiss you Her: i don't know CAN YOU
@HomeProbably: People keep accusing me of using the wrong words in my sentences. It's like everyone in my life has turned into a grandma nazi.