@OddMarc: If the Earth is only 5000 years old, how do you explain Cher?
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@undeadmolly: A reality show where gay marriage opponents have to live under 100% Biblical laws for six months so they can show us how awesome it is.
@themorris23: On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
@thereverendcink: If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
@est1975blog: I never knew my son was 80 years old until he told me to text our neighbor because "his leaves are getting on our lawn."