@robfee: If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears.
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@mrtruthandsoul: An atheist, a vegan, a libertarian, and a BMW owner walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone in the bar within 2 minutes.
@SortaBad: Judge: Ms Spears, how do you plea? "I'm not. that. innocent." *frustrated defense counsel tosses like 9000 papers in the air*
@hbreaker9999: My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.