@robfee: If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears.
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@sageboggs: My family doesn't have a swear jar, but we do have a totes perf jar. If you say totes or perf, we throw a jar at you
@iAmDelFreaky: I was sad to lose an arm wrestling match to a woman, but I felt better after I found out she was a man. Then sad again because we had sex.
@envydatropic: Stuck between "that was awesome" and "OMG do you need medical attention" wherever I walk off the dance floor
@3_livi: I seriously hate it when a couple starts having an argument in front of you. They could have least waited until I got dressed and left.