@rodney_at_large: If the final comments of your speech last 45 minutes, please don't preface them with "and lastly".
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@SortaBad: When my wife is out of town my sleeping position changes from 'balancing on edge of bed' to 'snow angel'
@WetzelGeek: I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a "Pregnant Only" parking spot in front of the Liquor store.
@Cpt_Burnout: Subway kid: Would you like your sandwich toasted? Me: No, I'm toasted enough for both us. In fact I'm kind of hoping it can drive me home.
@SondraDeeMe: Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it's up to you.