@1CarParade: If the government keeps doing nothing for much longer, it will get its own reality show on E!
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@flashember: Dog (curled up, napping): I never poop on the carpet and I love cats. Wife: Is the dog talking in its sleep? "Shhh let sleeping dogs lie."
@UnFitz: I've been towing this guy around by a rope for years. When is he going to learn to do this by himself? - dogs, maybe
@LoveNLunchmeat: *gets called a psychopath *googles "What's the average IQ of a psychopath?" AWWW, HE THINKS I'M REALLY SMART.