@IfTonyTweeted: If the hackers that stole all those Yahoo passwords could tell me what mine is I’d appreciate it. I’ve been locked out for about 4 years now
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@david8hughes: How did you know I was a member of Al Qaida? Was it my knees? Do I have terrorist's knees? Oh, the bomb. Not the knees then? That's good.
@ArfMeasures: [Date's house] ME: I'd love to see u again DATE: That would be nice ME [whispers to her dog] ok what do I do she thinks I'm talking to her