@IfTonyTweeted: If the hackers that stole all those Yahoo passwords could tell me what mine is I’d appreciate it. I’ve been locked out for about 4 years now
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@vexroid: I was voted "most friendly" at my high school in 10th grade. It was at this point in my life that I knew serious changes were in order.
@RtrJan: I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who took time out of her or his busy schedule to tell me, "omg you look like hell."
@MrSandeepP: Apparently you're not supposed to tell "That's what she said jokes" during the Board meeting because it's "inappropriate"
@DurtMcHurtt: [kung fu fight] "Your tiger claw is no match for my crane." *starts lifting heavy building materials*