@13spencer: If the headline just read "Kanye West Acts Like a Shithead," news sites could reuse it over and over again.
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@TravLeBlanc: My friend went to a salon and asked them to straighten his hair. So they took out his highlights.
@LoveNLunchmeat: When I die, just throw the laundry in my grave with me. I want to die exactly as I lived.
@joeldanger: Dear Satan, God never healed my dyslexia so I'm looking for new religion. Please send some pamphlets. And tell Rudolph hey. Love, Me