@13spencer: If the headline just read "Kanye West Acts Like a Shithead," news sites could reuse it over and over again.
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@NotJPo: I hate when I get so stoned that I can barely feel my legs and arms and antlers and wings.
@hurlarious: Why doesn't every mistake in real life I make have a squiggly red line underneath it?
@Sassafrantz: [public restroom] Me: We'll have to go some place else, it says "unavailable" Mom: Even the toilet found someone before you
@mrjohndarby: [World Cat Conference] President Cat: We have to dispell these stereotypes about cats. We need to- *he pushes his own notes off the podium*