@215potter: If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.
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@JCWisdomNuggets: I carry two crickets around in a small box so when I say something that isn't funny I can supply my own sound effects. They get real tired.
@Sarcasmo718: Most meth cooks start by clicking on an ad to make $500-$800 a day working from home.
@therepoguy: If your wife says "take out the trash" do not reply with "you cooked it you take it out."
@leechee420: $10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that'd be a great name for my new baby!"