@Book_Krazy: If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you.
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@bobsin: If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she's practising for her next selfie
@DirtMcTurd: My favorite part of the date is when I tell her that I want her to have my kids. And then I give them to her, all 3 of them.
@BangMyBongo: Mary on Facebook says this generation is way to reliant on technology... She then sent me 7 Candy Crush invites