@Book_Krazy: If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you.
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@SteveSuckington: DAUGHTER: why did you name me Paris? ME: You were conceived on our honeymoon in Paris SON: OMG!! ME: (to son) what's wrong 97FordF150?
@NervousJr: Don't feel like going to the gym? Go to all your ex's facebook pages and see who they're dating now. Then go to the gym.