@BillDixonish: If the new Instagram logo makes you upset, wait until you hear about child soldiers in central Africa.
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@undeadmolly: Not usually a big fan of God, but I have admit telling Cruz to run for president then making him lose to a reality TV clown was an A+ prank.
@MollySneed: [tv announcer] Are you bloated? Tired? Unable to enjoy the activities you once loved? [me with mouthful of chips] YEAH
@MinionTrainer: Noticed lots of older people reading the bible. It's like they are cramming for their final exam.
@karencheee: Marrying my gay friend bc it's important for couples to have common interests and we are both interested in men!