@BillDixonish: If the new Instagram logo makes you upset, wait until you hear about child soldiers in central Africa.
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@jaggedape: Bear mace is like regular mace but you have to buy it at the maul... Thank you for your time.
@Reverend_Scott: Ok doc, give it to me straight. "It's cancer" How bad? "Really bad, you have 2 months." OMG "APRIL FOOLS!" Whew- "You have 2 days."
@MichaelTrying: Dear Evolution, It’s a conference call, not a bear attack. How about making me super eloquent instead of the heart rate and adrenaline?
@RobDenBleyker: I choose which country to root for in the Olympics by what cuisine I'm hungry for at the moment. Go Italy! #gnocchi2014