@BillDixonish: If the new Instagram logo makes you upset, wait until you hear about child soldiers in central Africa.
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@StephenBCramer: My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped.
@thedailymarker: Husband getting dressed: Me: Purple and green don't go together. Husband: It works for the Joker. Me: My point exactly.
@pleatedjeans: [cruising down highway in friend's car with windows down] me: [opens bag of glitter]