@NJPsychDoc: If the opposite of impossible is Possible & the opposite of immature is Mature, you can conclude that i'm a very Portant person to some.
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@WrongPandas: [at funeral] Me: "I'm sorry your husband died in that boating accident in Venice" Widow: "please no.... Me: "you have my gondolances"
@Lunatic_times: when the lady in the elevator burst into tears I did the only thing a man could do in the situation. I fell to the floor and played dead.
@jngraphs: Another normal evening Cook food - 30 minutes Eat it - 5 minutes Check Facebook - 1 minute Check Twitter - 8 hours