@theshamingofjay: If the picture you took of the bad weather while driving isn't followed by a picture of your car crash then it wasn't that bad.
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@Schmoodles: Apparently, when your boss asks you to get a cake for a coworker's 60th birthday, 'cake' is not code for 'stripper.' Live & learn, guys.
@Shock_Monster: Dance like no one is watching you while secretly videotaping to later be posted on YouTube so you become the latest worldwide laughing stock
@KalvinMacleod: ME: I’ve finally adjusted to daylight savings time WIFE: really ME: really WIFE: *takes cat out of fridge* ME: *stops petting the milk*
@pleatedjeans: [junkyard dog barking viciously and running directly at me] Me: Wow he must really want me to pet him