@Thedudish: If the police ask, I was in my house from 2009 to 2013.
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@okimstillhungry: Me on Masterchef: Ive made a roasted pork kebab breaded with buttermilk cornbread and served with a tomato reduction Them: This is a corndog
@Parentpains: Avoid confrontations in the work place by slashing your coworker's tires while they sleep.
@TheMichaelRock: Cinderella taught girls that it's ok if a guy has no idea what you look like as long as he's a prince.