@Cheeseboy22: If the Pottery Barn didn't want me to bring my goat in the store, they shouldn't have called it a barn.
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@DaHess1: "We heard reports that some guy saw a snowflake one time somewhere so we better cancel 5,000 flights." - Airlines
@Mz_Cake_Vodka: My ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" But I can't drive a bus.
@Adar79Angie: When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet? I say "Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."