@ericsshadow: If the salesman doesn't come with me on the test drive, I just take the car home and wait for them to come get it. I have so many cars now.
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@huntigula: if I accidentally respond "you too" after a fast-food clerk tells me to enjoy my meal, I shove some fries in their mouth so it isn't awkward
@david8hughes: [steps off crosstrainer] "Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--" "Shall I call an ambulance?" "Please."
@TheWeirdWorld: The biggest joke of Spongebob is that he can work in a fast food restaurant and still afford to buy a house.
@Scdavis24: If god came down to earth, he'd have to take the form of Morgan Freeman. At this point, anything less would be disappointing.