@Izianikapani: If the US admits that Trump's presidential campaign is a hoax then Australia will come clean about the platypus.
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@Prince_Smarming: Imagine my surprise when I found out "restraining order" did not mean she wanted me to tie her up.
@jonnysun: WHITE GIRL: im not a dog person, im not a cat person, im a people person ME: (whispering to my dog) i think that means she owns slaves
@RobElliottComic: Top Gun was so unrealistic Everyone knows Tom Cruise can't reach the clutch on a motorcycle