@sucittaM: If the US ever decides to change its currency from the dollar to the unmatched tupperware lid I'll be a very wealthy man.
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@BeardSpice: [God creating spiders] What if I made a tiny land octopus that could walk on walls?
@AlexvanBeek: "No. No birthdays, Christmas or modern medicine.. But you sure do make great friends going door-to-door" *Door slams - Jehova's Witnesses
@JohnLyonTweets: Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
@H0TMessBarbie: I've finally reached the age where I can't function without my glasses...especially if they're empty.