@sucittaM: If the US ever decides to change its currency from the dollar to the unmatched tupperware lid I'll be a very wealthy man.
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@LipstickSpice: I'm getting married! Well, I have a new boyfriend! Okay, I have a date for tomorrow night! FINE. Shoe salesman said "Come back soon".
@FeelingMervis: I've started an elimination diet, It's where I eliminate anyone from my life who talks about their diet.
@mattgallo123: My waterproof phone is advertised in commercials with people surfing and kayaking and here I am tweeting in the shower.