@sucittaM: If the US ever decides to change its currency from the dollar to the unmatched tupperware lid I'll be a very wealthy man.
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@sarcasticmommy4: I'm at my most financial consultant when I tell the McDonald's employee what my change back should be.
@juneohara65: Nothing puts me in touch with my mortality like stepping onto a downward escalator.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: 🎶 You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why. Life gets worse when you're an adult. 🎶
@rob5373: [Bags packed, leaving the ex] Ex:"I hope you have a slow and painful death!" Me:"So now you want me to stay?"