@davedittell: if the waitress at this brunch doesn't give me the Mother's Day special then I shaved my legs and stole this baby for nothing
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@Adar79Angie: I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito. It was a Dorito in my bra.
@Schmoodles: I dress up as a Girl Scout for my boyfriend, but just so we can practice our elaborate cookie heist.
@kwirkyKerri: Never underestimate a well placed "that's what she said". Unless your boss is standing behind you. Thanks for the heads up Michelle.
@MarcusTheToken: Sometimes when people talk to me, I scream and beat my chest. It not only establishes dominance, but tells them to go away.