@davedittell: if the waitress at this brunch doesn't give me the Mother's Day special then I shaved my legs and stole this baby for nothing
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@MrDelFreaky: Fun Fact: If you lie down in an aisle at Walmart for a couple hours, they will tag you and put you in a clearance bin.
@jakob_huber: A bottle washes on shore with a note inside it: "Go swimming, the water's great! And there's no sharks! P.S. this wasn't written by a shark"