@TheTweetOfGod: If "the word impossible is not in your vocabulary", you have a pretty limited vocabulary.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BlackJerms: At Twitter HQ J: Users haven't complained in a while, what's going on? Devs: Oh, we've got just the thing *releases update
@squirrel74wkgn: Wife: The kid was holding a sparkler. Me: ...I thought her arm was on fire. Wife: You hosed her down for 9 minutes.
@audipenny: Sorry I was asleep when you texted me and just woke up when we ran into each other just now
@Underchilde: “There’s no use crying over spilt milk.” Unless you spill it on a winning Powerball ticket, then you should probably cry.