@SveldtSmelt: If the world was made of LSD, I'd learn to walk on my tongue.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@brynnester: Boss: *introducing me to new co workers* This is Linda. She always answers the phone Me: How are you Linda? Linda: The phone Boss: See
@DanMentos: 18yo me (naive, unrefined): I just ate a block of cheese 42yo me (worldly, sophisticated): I just ate a wheel of cheese
@jwoodham: DRAKE: I'll drop the best album of 2016. BEYONCÉ: Nah. DRAKE: The best album of... April? BEYONCÉ: Nah. DRAKE: Please don't do this to me.