@SveldtSmelt: If the world was made of LSD, I'd learn to walk on my tongue.
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@Robert_Beau: I installed a pet door over the weekend, and the dog barked at it, and the cat pissed on it, but the raccoons have got the idea.
@FlyJ_: You know that one relative that is annoying AF and no one in the family can tolerate? Yeah, she's staying at my house this week.
@zachreinert03: Audrey Hepburn probably has my favorite last name that combines an STD and a symptom of an STD
@ValeeGrrl: Ah, spring is here. Time to open the windows and remind my neighbors that I know every word to the "Grease" soundtrack.