@WhiskeyPotPie: If the zombie apocalypse hits and you all need a twist tie, my mom has everyone covered.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_Justin_Stepien: I'm so much like a noodle when I shower. sit in hot water for 7-8 minutes and become soft, squishy, and delicious afterwards
@GaryJanetti: Thanks for the holiday photo! I can't believe your little girls are already unhappy, overweight teenagers!
@weismanjake: I'm a vegetarian and when people say to me "you know Hitler was also a vegetarian" it always reminds me how many Jews I've been killing
@KatieKatCubs: My dad likes to come to my office & tell the receptionist he's my parole officer in case you were wondering how I turned out like this.