@WhiskeyPotPie: If the zombie apocalypse hits and you all need a twist tie, my mom has everyone covered.
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@smells_fine: [God creating the raccoon] God: make it cute with a lil mask Angel: haha aw okay God: also make it eat trash
@McGrumpenstein: I've named my cat "Before" & my chihuahua "After." It works better if I introduce them wearing a lab coat and clipboard, giggling.