@Eric_Bader: If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn't start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I'm going to be so pissed.
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@briangaar: How about a superhero whose power is TAKING CARE OF HIS KIDS *high-fives Maury audience while Batman storms off*
@SummerRay: I was the first person to install trampolines in musician's tour buses and now everybody is jumping on the bandwagon.
@HatfieldAnne: (starts to scramble eggs) “THESE YOLKS WON'T BREAK! THIS IS TAKING FOREVER!” (.0008 seconds later) “Oh, ok.”
@amishschool: Chicago launched an innovative new ride-sharing program today and the way it works is some guy stole my bike.