@4Crocs: If there is not a open bar and a goddamn delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@garrydavenport: When I die, please scatter my ashes over my iPhone, computer and TV, because I want to be left to my own devices.
@jake_lach: Lady pulled away with the gas pump still in her car and I was like OMG who's your dealer?
@JasonLastname: How many push-ups is too many when meeting your girlfriend's dad for the first time?