@4Crocs: If there is not a open bar and a goddamn delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.
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@SCbchbum: Did you know if you send a fancy iPhone emoticon to a non-iPhone user, it just shows up as a middle finger?
@slaughthie: My coworker was like "I love kids! Can't finish a whole one by myself though hahaha!" And I was just like wow I could easily eat like 5.
@melibuff: I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.