@Dawn_M_: If there’s a denim jacket on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with a werewolf.
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@DrDogMD: NURSE: ur concerned about ur patient huh? Youve been pacing in circles for 10 mins DR DOG: haha no im just trying to find a spot to lie down
@darrinfb: To the 11 year old girl on FB with the relationship status "it's complicated" How can it be complicated? Did he take your animal crackers?
@davidkenny100: Actually, no I don't spend my day arguing and working on format tweets! Narrator: he does though Shut up Narrator: you shut up!