@McNevich: If there's a pistachio that's difficult to open, I'll just move right on to another because life is short and so is my god damn temper
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@noxxhell: When Doves get married in a parallel universe they release screaming humans from the cage.
@N0pantz: Watch your wedding video backwards. You'll love the part when you take your ring off, walk away from the altar, & leave with your friends.
@jessokfine: This is a baby horse: it can walk 4 hours after it's born This is a baby human: don't touch its head wrong or you'll bonk its brain