@scorpicpanda: If there's awkward silence & he asks what you're thinking about "emotionally damaged werewolves" is not the best answer. I know this now.
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@Up2Long: Beautiful women following me on Twitter is screwing up my perception of who will talk to me in RL. A trip to Walmart should fix that.
@Jake_Vig: The pottery scene in "Ghost," except you're slowly but steadily pushing the other person's face into the clay.
@QwertyJones3: [outpost in the Arctic Circle] "I'm quitting, here's my 2 week notice" BOSS: The days last 6 months here "Sonofa..."
@chuuew: TEACHER: Have you got anything for today's palindrome class? STUDENT: dammit I'm mad TEACHER: OK, OK, I'll ask someone else