@Ristolable: If there's no God, why are feet naturally shoe-shaped?
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@thatdutchperson: [blind date] Her: I'm a Capricorn, which probably tells you way too much about m.. Me: *covers ears with bread rolls*
@TheHyyyype: ME: my wife and i are having a baby! FRIEND: wow, that's amazing! congratulations! sex? ME: yes, that's how we made the baby...
@shariv67: If movies have taught me anything, it's that the insurance for fruit vendor carts must be astronomical.