@Darlainky: If these seasonal allergies don't kill me, that person I just sneezed all over probably will.
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@Iwriteforcats: Son: Dad, you work so hard and never get any credit. You're like a superhero! Dad: Nice try. You're still not getting the Internet password.
@hipstermermaid: Donald Trump is like the "Scream" movies in that he blurs the line between comedy and horror.