@Darlainky: If these seasonal allergies don't kill me, that person I just sneezed all over probably will.
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@Thee1_4U: The snow in the front yard is melting and so far I've found 3 unopened beers. *Adds party planner to résumé*
@longwall26: It must be almost impossible for chalk-outline guys not to turn victims' hands into turkeys this time of year.
@david8hughes: [wife crosses out another baby name off the list] What? What's wrong with Carlos Danger Grenades?
@sixfootcandy: You'd think my hair would be a little more cooperative considering how many times I blow it per week.