@TuffyNyC: If they took all the money spent on making Godzilla movies, they could've probably just made an actual Godzilla by now.
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@1_swarthy_dude: I asked my wife to pick up some 25yr caulk at Home Depot and she's been in the bathroom getting ready for hours.
@Mr_Kapowski: We should've cremated Michael Jackson in case of the zombie apocalypse or else people will think they're part of a Thriller flash mob
@XplodingUnicorn: My toddler took her toy phone and hit me in the head with it. It was still less painful than a real phone call.