@WilliamAder: If they want to increase the use of public transit, they should start using a scale at the DMV license renewal counter.
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@jimmytorosian: [two hours into describing a criminal to a police sketch artist] ...But when he took off the mask, he just looked like a normal guy
@botandy: when I see a Facebook relationship status 'it's complicated' I imagine love through wormholes over tens of thousands of years, alien biology
@PineapplePtart: Be careful, newbies. Twitter changes you. I used to be Puerto Rican, now I'm Irish.
@T_N_Crumpets: [Restaurant] Me: I know in your profile it said you were small but I didn[my date falls into her soup]