@steveolivas: If this doughnut and chocolate milk are going to take years off my life, could I have them remove 1978-1982?
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@heatherlou_: I refuse to dismiss Thanksgiving. Any holiday dedicated to food & stretchy pants is worth celebrating.
@djdarrellripley: Her: Remind me if I'm ever on life support, not to have you in charge of pulling the plug. Me: Yea, like I could get in front of that line.
@_shellzbellzzz_: Ever look at your frequently used emojis and realize that your two moods are drunk and circus tents?