@EvanJKessler: If this whole twitter thing doesn't work out, we can all get jobs writing for a company that makes mildly disturbing fortune cookies.
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@NefuDaBoss: Everyone: If you keep listening to your music so loudly you'll be deaf by the time you're 20 Me: What
@t0shiba: I accidentally took a woman's multi-vitamin this morning. I have been trying to get dressed now for 2 hours but everything makes me look fat
@DBMaxP: Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule on a dropped chip
@Grafiksein: Me: guess who i saw today? Batman: who? M: not your parents B: Y do you always do this? M: cause they told me to B: who? M: not your parents