@EvanJKessler: If this whole twitter thing doesn't work out, we can all get jobs writing for a company that makes mildly disturbing fortune cookies.
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@Sarcasticsapien: Saying "to each his own" is the best way to tell someone you respect their right to have an extremely stupid opinion.
@DanMentos: "How can I help you? Hi I'd like a root canal "Are you a patient here?" No "Who referred you to us?" No one "Ok then why-" I have a Groupon
@AIMMadellynne: Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn't have.