@Phook75: If Thomas Jefferson was alive today people would scream "What the hell? You're almost 300 years old!"
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@xofreckles: Lesson learned: toddlers don't understand sarcasm. As a side note, don't say 'bite me' around toddlers that don't understand sarcasm
@patrickmarkryan: If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet
@IamEveryDayPpl: Sometimes I pretend I'm picking up lunch for the office even tho the KFC workers can clearly see me eating that bucket in their parking lot.
@stockejock: SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE PREGNANT LADIES GETTING READY FOR THE BIG WEEKEND COMING UP !!! #labordayweekend