@Phook75: If Thomas Jefferson was alive today people would scream "What the hell? You're almost 300 years old!"
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@markleggett: Stop complaining about the length of the Hobbit movies. Plays are 17 hours long. School plays are twice that.
@jenyb4: Cw: you have a call holding M: put it in my voicemail Cw: he has a sexy Australian accent M: hiiii this is Jennifer
@brookeisgolden: Based on my experience with trying to find the restroom at Kohl's, I would die first in the Hunger Games.
@Probgoblin: I run down a hospital corridor, clutching the mustard dispenser I liberated from the cafeteria. Earlier I had a plan. Now I have mustard.