@TeaPainUSA: If Trump wins the presidency, you know who's gonna be the most excited about buildin' a Southern border fence? Canada.
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@scorpiusryan21: Surprised to hear five people were shot at a Chris Brown show, most notably because why were there that many people at a Chris Brown show?
@JanieBoBanie3: I see your eyes lookin me up and down, baby. Mhmm. Huh? Toilet paper hangin out of my pants? Oh.
@NotBachibawlz: Someday astronauts will land on the sun .... Im hoping they're smart enough to do this at nighttime when it's not as hot
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "You have lost a lot of blood." Me: "That's not good." Doctor: "It's not. You are the worst manager this blood bank has ever seen."