@TeaPainUSA: If Trump wins the presidency, you know who's gonna be the most excited about buildin' a Southern border fence? Canada.
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@UrplePingo: LOL there's like 20 guys w/ "Female Body Inspector" windbreakers that's hilarious they're seizing my hard drive & business records LMAO
@NintenDom: Just so we're all clear: NASA is getting a direct feed from a robot on Mars, but I still can't make a cell phone call from my basement.
@Reverend_Scott: Witness: I saw the defendant stabbing the victim. Lawyer: Objection! Witness is ugly! Judge: Sustained. Jury will disregard the statement.
@FlyJ_: Florist: "Would you like your flowers wrapped?" Me: "Nope, they're going right into the shredder before I give them to my sister-in-law."