@TeaPainUSA: If Trump wins the presidency, you know who's gonna be the most excited about buildin' a Southern border fence? Canada.
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@PanicRestroom: Whenever I see someone posting a picture with a celebrity, I comment: "Who's that next to you?"
@ImaFlyontheWall: Fact: If you get pulled over, as the cop is walking up to you, place an aluminum foil hat on your head and you disappear from his vision.
@WGladstone: When God closes a door, he opens a window. So God's pretty clearly getting high in his dorm room.