@Tmoney68: If Twitter has done nothing else, it's trained me to spell words like diarrhea, gonorrhea & chlamydia without spell check.
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@VerbsRProudest: Yes I wore a $900 fuchsia southern belle dress to your kid's baptism. When I was your bridesmaid, you said I could always wear it again.
@Hobo_Splendido: Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.
@gm_cage: I bought theater food once. Long story short my son will no longer be going to college..
@WilliamAder: Twitter updated their Terms of Service. Now it just says "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here."