@AGreaterMonster: If Twitter has taught me anything it's that the best career choice is divorce lawyer.
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@GrandadJFreeman: There's a serial killer in our house! Normal people: "CALL THE POLICE, LETS GET OUT OF HERE!" - In movies: "Lets go find him" -___-
@TeachersHot: Sunday mornings are a great time for me to reflect on why I haven't killed anyone yet
@JiminyKicksIt: I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it 'cuz it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.