@SCOOPISMS: If Twitter is a rave then Facebook is a Tupperware party.
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@Midgetspar: I received a basketball in the mail from Amazon. I haven't played basketball in 20 years but apparently drunk me thinks I'm Michael Jordan.
@ShoutingGoddess: I've done a few things I've been ashamed of, but at least I never played FarmVille.
@sofarrsogud: My kids are at an age now where they are beginning to understand embarrassment. This is my time to shine.
@AndRyanTF: I'm not high! - high people I'm not drunk! - drunk people I'm not lying! - lying people I'm not gay! - my brother