@fatherofcomedy: If u ask me to baby sit 3 and at d end of d day can find only 1, dat is not a reflection on me as a babysitter.i was nevr gud at maths
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@Steven37366100: Me: I think our son is feeling ostrichsized Wife: Don't you mean ostracized? *son enters, feathered, elongated neck and legs* Me: No
@DBMaxP: Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule on a dropped chip
@caliluvgirl77: 1990- I have three-way calling, we can all talk for hours 2015- don't even leave me a voicemail unless you are dying or I won money
@ComedicBust: "These diet pills better work," I say to myself as I wash them down with a chocolate milkshake.