@JackAsHell: If u ever rob someones house just bring guacamole that way if they catch you you can just yell surprise and tell them they're having a party
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@darinlovesbacon: I once stayed in a motel that was so seedy, the Bible in the drawer only had 7 commandments
@HansGrubertron: The gorilla and I maintain eye contact, separated by only an inch of glass. He scratches his head... I scratch mine. He touches his chest... I touch mine. He shits in his hand... my wife drags me away.