@JackAsHell: If u ever rob someones house just bring guacamole that way if they catch you you can just yell surprise and tell them they're having a party
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@CrackYouWhip: I tried to make a smoothie for lunch. Apparently, three frozen pizzas will break a juicer.
@Book_Krazy: *Takes off clothes *Enters meeting room naked *Coworkers gasp in horror *Slowly backs out of room [whispers] "you said debriefing"
@KeetPotato: gang leader: "this isnt what i meant when i said go rob the store" me: [putting 19 cartons of milk in fridge] "you should be more specific"
@iamspacegirl: [Date Night] I poured us a bubble bath. Him: *sigh* is it Sprite again? *sipping seductively from tub with a krazy straw*: Just get in.