@robfee: If u had Hitler & a guy who doesnt mute the keyboard on his iPhone in a room & could only kill one, would u give Hitler the dead guys phone?
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@INDlAN_: [phone call with ex] Me: you want to hang out tonight? Ex: sure. When & where? Me: no, we’re not going. It’s enough just to know you would.
@Shawn_spree: Wife: Am I grotesque? Me: No, angel cake! Wife: Why did you call me a cake? Me: Cake is round? *runs *
@DsTwitz: If guys were smart they would forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls buying frozen dinners and cat food.
@WilliamAder: My wife's returning today after an 8-day trip, so I should probably dampen the kitchen sponge and re-position it.