@BitchyJasmine: 'If u insinuate that I'm fat again, I'm leaving you!' 'Don't be selfish, think about the baby.' 'What baby?' 'Oh, so you're not pregnant?'
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@jasonlight73: I like to cover my tracks by ending all my Google searches with the word "hypothetically"
@caliluvgirl77: If I wasn't supposed to drink alcohol with NyQuil, then why did it come with a shot glass?
@UnFitz: A first kiss so tentative and awkward, you regret all the time you spent practicing on your beagle. Did I just say that out loud?