@retardedwriter: If u think ur parents did nothing for you, remember Jackie Shrof named his son Tiger and Bappi Da named his son Bappa. Respect your parents
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@frenchielaboozi: a lady was like "can you believe he's 14 months old already" and i am like you know what i can cause you post a pic of him every single day
@GuyThe_Guy: My wife puts her pants on just like everyone else, but when she gets one leg in I push her over while she's off balance.
@nbadag: *exorcism* DEMON: *roars* PRIEST: we must restrain him! WIFE: *opens drawer* here! *tosses fuzzy pink handcuffs* PRIEST: ... DEMON: hey now
@TheMichaelRock: The worst part about winter is how the ground is hard and crunchy and it makes me constantly crave nachos.