@retardedwriter: If u think ur parents did nothing for you, remember Jackie Shrof named his son Tiger and Bappi Da named his son Bappa. Respect your parents
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@neiltyson: Today is the first New Moon after Jan 21sr. Happy New Year to Chinese people and all who choose to be Chinese for a day.
@illTortuga: "Welcome to Panda Express" "I'd like one panda" "Sorry we don't sell pand-" *slips cashier $100* "Meet me in the back alley in ten minutes"
@IamEveryDayPpl: Prius and Smart Car owners in my neighborhood got together and banned leaf blowers for safety reasons...
@KyleMcDowell86: Why do u wanna work at Burger King? *imagines killing the Burger King & taking my rightful place as king* "I haven't taken my meds in weeks"