@retardedwriter: If u think ur parents did nothing for you, remember Jackie Shrof named his son Tiger and Bappi Da named his son Bappa. Respect your parents
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@Juicedballs: My wife dared me to yell out "HURRY UP HAYDEN" at Disney World. Now we have 27 blonde boys & 8 girls following us like Children of the Corn.
@Demented_Jokes: My son cried when I gave him his breakfast this morning. I made him scrambled eggs, covered them in ketchup & told him it was Humpty Dumpty.
@Dawn_M_: [making small talk at a party] Hair products are so expensive these days. Do you think that's why poor people look like shit?"