@jonnysun: if u watch thamksgiving backwards its about a angry family yeling at each other then the uncle says something racist and everyone calms down
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@_laurabee_: woman next to me on the bus just asked me to read her text to her as she's forgotten her glasses. 'dog has shit entire length of kitchen.'
@Book_Krazy: How can we make people tell the truth? "Lets make them put one hand on a book & the other on their chest. That'll scare the shit out of em"
@iGreenMonk: You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they're trying on clothes in the fitting room.
@panmidwest: [First Date] ME: I prepared some questions to get to know you HER: Ok! ME: What's the capital of Honduras? HER: um… ME:[writing] bad at geo-