@jonnysun: if u watch thamksgiving backwards its about a angry family yeling at each other then the uncle says something racist and everyone calms down
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@Schooney_Tunes: Got kicked out of Bed Bath & Beyond today for drawing pictures of Drake on their blankets, so they'd be extra soft.
@ShortSleeveSuit: Me [doing a lovely soft shoe routine and nailing it] Brother: Are you serious? This is my sentencing hearing Judge [teary]: Just wonderful
@CulturedRuffian: Sounds painful and this is the weirdest pick up line ever. Can I just pay for my stuff and leave? Mmm-k, Thanks.
@LurkAtHomeMom: The good news is, it turns out there is literally nothing we can say here that will ruin our chances at a political career.