@imteddybless: if ur dad didn't want to be more than friends then why did he get me that delicious glass of water
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@bmarked21: So the suicide hotline is only for prevention and not for nominating people who should kill themselves. Sucks. I made a list and everything.
@WilliamRodgers: Always be yourself... Unless you run into one of your exes... Then... Be a WAY more successful version of yourself...
@FrauFickenDammt: A white man beaten with a wheel of Parmesan claims it was a hate crime. Cheese on cracker investigation begins.
@ArfMeasures: [Prison] ME: Just don't mention anything about breaking free & they won't suspect a thing *guard enters* FREDDIE MERCURY *clears throat*