@jazmasta: if ur date declines a kiss at the end of the night open ur mouth and let the ants escape. Then say "it's ok I had a mouthful of ants anyway"
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@BGH70: The company hates when I helicopter into work. It's always, "zip up your pants and go see HR now!"
@_wangwe: Her: I heard your sister went to the US. Me: Yeah she did. Her: Which state? Me: Alaska. Her: Cool, when she tells you, tell me.
@theyearofelan: Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside