@jazmasta: if ur date declines a kiss at the end of the night open ur mouth and let the ants escape. Then say "it's ok I had a mouthful of ants anyway"
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@ScottLinnen: Have a friend who takes pics of her food and then goes to the restroom to delete them all. Instagramorexia Nervosa.
@Karissajem: Me: I'm quitting to go play guitar for Metallica. Boss: Wow! I wasn't aware that you even played guitar. Me: Let's not make this difficult.
@SeanINCypress: If Batman doesn't wear underwear with my picture all over them, then this relationship is as one-sided as I feared.
@jonnysun: i asked my mom why she was crying and she said because shes choping onions which is sad becuase as a young child she was adopted by onions